I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
