Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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