Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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