i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
