I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
