he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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