it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
