The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
