I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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