I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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