I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
