you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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