I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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