Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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