LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
