if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
