when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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