She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
