worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
