if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
