Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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