is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
