Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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