If that was your dad, he is hot
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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