What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
