you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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