He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.