3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.