She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
