i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
