We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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