Already got asked if we're dating
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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