Im at strip club and am horny
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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