I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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