So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
