did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
