I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
