Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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