I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
