Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.

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  (781): Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there? (603): Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die. http://tfl.nu/1bcd
  Replies (12) Good night (1351) Bad night (580)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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  (506): haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off http://tfl.nu/1xv0
  Replies (2) Good night (4492) Bad night (728)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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  (520): I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless. http://tfl.nu/n39p
  Replies (36) Good night (1103) Bad night (2958)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals

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  (954): He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals http://tfl.nu/66nw
  Replies (59) Good night (3679) Bad night (3123)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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  (919): I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before. http://tfl.nu/gqc0
  Replies (14) Good night (6135) Bad night (1049)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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  (619): Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me. http://tfl.nu/28u5
  Replies (23) Good night (938) Bad night (4138)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.

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  (502): Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936. http://tfl.nu/hg2d
  Replies (22) Good night (1372) Bad night (9606)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.

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  (618): My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma. http://tfl.nu/chfg
  Replies (13) Good night (3835) Bad night (1054)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.

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  (253): once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced. http://tfl.nu/7kbq
  Replies (38) Good night (3597) Bad night (2225)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

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  (845): You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign. http://tfl.nu/2tl8
  Replies (15) Good night (2644) Bad night (941)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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  (647): That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night. http://tfl.nu/q0pz
  Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (523)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (377)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.

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  (630): Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack. http://tfl.nu/0qa9
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (836)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so

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  (816): Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so http://tfl.nu/0hmc
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (284)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.

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  (306): I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ywq9
  Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (200)

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