I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour