he shaved USA in his pubs
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy