Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/g19l
  Replies (21) Good night (1546) Bad night (3894)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know. http://tfl.nu/n0su
  Replies (40) Good night (6100) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5324) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself. http://tfl.nu/68qu
  Replies (13) Good night (4444) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm. http://tfl.nu/clwu
  Replies (8) Good night (3645) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4617) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8
  Replies (40) Good night (5434) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing. http://tfl.nu/xv1v
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uk4u
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino. http://tfl.nu/qmu0
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36
  Replies (9) Good night (1199) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied. http://tfl.nu/8j3b
  Replies (6) Good night (785) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss http://tfl.nu/ju7w
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you. http://tfl.nu/6dmy
  Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (268)

Randomize