Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.

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  (972): i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants. http://tfl.nu/1aet
  Replies (6) Good night (1315) Bad night (2328)
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  (845): View more from New York

  maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night

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  (845): maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night http://tfl.nu/d95d
  Replies (12) Good night (955) Bad night (2868)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Should I hook up with a slut its your call

  (713): View more from Texas

  Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

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  (817): Should I hook up with a slut its your call (713): Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. http://tfl.nu/s2dx
  Replies (18) Good night (2977) Bad night (1136)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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  (703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b
  Replies (20) Good night (3784) Bad night (1167)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.

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  (630): Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won. http://tfl.nu/w0xy
  Replies (90) Good night (7137) Bad night (1693)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1279) Bad night (4316)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

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  (856): Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/q010
  Replies (49) Good night (6101) Bad night (4676)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin

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  (206): i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin http://tfl.nu/oy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (1157) Bad night (4431)
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  (925): View more from California

  I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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  (925): I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too http://tfl.nu/v7gc
  Replies (12) Good night (1618) Bad night (940)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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  (215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (1270)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1556) Bad night (930)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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  (617): my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store. http://tfl.nu/jy53
  Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (606)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

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  (580): I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her. http://tfl.nu/o5ak
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (252)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

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  (508): Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language http://tfl.nu/6y9g
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (304)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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  (913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (533)

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