im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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