after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
