Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
