I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
