Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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