My boss' voice literally gives me gas
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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