You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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