So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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