Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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