Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
