She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
NoShamevember. You game?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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