their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
