the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Farmville is her only friend.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize