We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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