I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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