we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
