You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
