dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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