Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize